Imagine Super-Evil Twins...

Ha. Imagine if every single person had an evil clone. Like, the evil twin theory. Only the twins are never supposed to meet. They're like, random strangers. 
I'm just trying to imagine meeting my evil twin. I'd be walking down the street and not paying particular attention to anyone in case, you know, they get real touchy if you stare (I tend to absently look at people, and it can be kind of annoying, I guess), and all of a sudden I'd see something suspicious out of the corner of my eye. So I would turn to look at what it was and
BAM!!!
It's someone I've never met before who looks exactly like me. Completely the same, down to the scar on my arm from when I broke the 2 bones there. And she'd stare at me, also completely freaked out. 
Or maybe, as she'd be the evil twin - naturally, naturally - she'd know all about me, and be planning lots of evil little things. She could be a fetch. Actually, that would be very creepy.
Very creepy indeed. 
Luckily, I don't think those sort of things exist. 
But imagine a world where there is 2 of everyone, one good one bad. And they all started randomly meeting, and the whole world fell into chaos. 


I'm sorry. I got a bit carried away there. Excuse me. I'm going to go lie down

and imagine in peace! 

I mean, I'm completely sane!! Honest! Look:

 and imagine in peace!

Crossed it out. There's nothing wrong with me! I'm not going to go lie down and imagine chaos in the world with everyone meeting their twins...
Nor am I going to imagine being the evil twin...
Now there's a thought..

Britain's Got Talent As You've Never Seen It Before!!!

Aww! I love Sylvanian Families - so cute! 

DA DUCK SONG!!!

So cool!!! I love this!
What do you think of it?

A HUGE Mistake

I was watching Outnumbered with my family the other night. The one were Sue has to get the house clean because some buyers are coming to visit, but it's Friday the 13th...Know the one I mean? If not, it doesn't really matter. 
The point is, I had a sudden flashback to when I last spring-cleaned. Our house was REALLY messy, and it wasn't long before Easter, so my friends came over to help. They had nothing better to do. Well, it was fun. But then. Then we made a huge - HUGE - mistake. We offered to do my sister's room. 
Set the scene. You are standing outside a clean white door with a tin sign that has a picture of some wolves on it. It looks taken care of, so you open the door slowly. What are you greeted with? A room full of mess. Books, homework, clothes, needles: these are just some of the things spread across the floor. You can hardly see the desk, it drowns in random stuff. 
So naturally we regretted our offer instantly, but it was too late to back out now. We got to work, starting on the desk as it looked easiest. After maybe three hours the room looked like you could just about live in it without dying. For about two days. If you were a rat. 
There was one thing left to do. 
You see, my sister has a very annoying habit of stuffing things under her bed when she can't be bothered to put them back in the right place. So we had to shift the bed to one side and fish down the side of it for any stuff that shouldn't be there. We were lucky. There was no slimy, gooey stuff. But then, my friend found a little green box.
"What's this?" she asked. 
Perhaps a pill that prevent aging. No. Perhaps a pill that gives you knowledge. No. Perhaps a mank, brown, soggy, old apple. Nearly there.
In actual fact it was a box of about a dozen, manky, year-old grapes. That if my sister had found, she probably would have eaten.

When to Expect the Worst

When you ask your teacher what the homework is, you're always crossing your fingers for 2 things.
Thing #1
There will be NO HOMEWORK!
(And failing that...)
Thing #2
The homework will not be to REVISE!
Yes, you must be prepared to expect the worst when your teacher tells you your homework is to revise. It means days...weeks...months...of looking over your text books and exercise books, cramming all that knowledge that you've already forgotten into your head again, and for what? How will they reward you for your efforts?
At best, with approximately five days of regurgitating all that stuff that, since the beginning of the year, has gone in one ear and out the other.
Is that fair?
I tell you now, it is not.
And then the teacher stream you, trying to turn you against each other by calling some people clever, and others..."I'm sorry, you're in the bottom group." They assume that because you can't remember something you learned 9 MONTHS AGO, you're not particularly clever.
No, exams don't measure how clever you are. They measure how much you can be bothered to revise. It's a good job I do revise, or I'd score a round, 0%.

Is There Anybody Out There???

Is there anybody out there? Anyone at all?
Is there anybody else who goes through what I go through, or am I alone???
If your dog rolls in poo on a regular basis, please get in touch!
That's right, you heard me. My dog rolls in poo. I am not kidding. There is nothing worse than taking your dog for a walk and watching him sniff about. Stop. Sniff some more. And then the dreaded drop. He falls to the floor. You run in slow motion towards him. "NOOOOO!" you scream. But it's too late. You're done for. You won't ever touch your dog again. It's time to take him home, force him under the shower and smother him in ketchup.
Apparently it's supposed to make him smell better but really, it's the other way round.
You're probably thinking, "Ugh, what a wannabe. Is this supposed to be funny?" No, it's not. I am completely, 100%, deadly serious. If you are suffering from similar problems, please tell me. I don't want to be on my own in this one. 
Please don't let me suffer alone. 

So I Became an Official Smurf

Okay, so I'm halfway to becoming a smurf. For those of you who don't know, a smurf is someone who is forced to wear white tights and a bright blue blazer. We even wrote a song about it (based, of course, on California Gurlz by Katy Perry):

Coloma smurfs,

White tights,

Skirts down to the knee,

Bright blue jumpers

Blazers on top!

And that's NO EXAGGERATION!!! We actually are made to dress like smurfs (well, obviously we don't paint ourselves blue, but you know what I mean, right?) My friends and me, we all wanted to go see that smurf movie in the cinema but the teachers wouldn't agree. Unfortunately.

Ah well. I hope you get the chance to experience being a smurf. And if not, I can tell you what you're missing.

^_^