Is There Anybody Out There???

Is there anybody out there? Anyone at all?
Is there anybody else who goes through what I go through, or am I alone???
If your dog rolls in poo on a regular basis, please get in touch!
That's right, you heard me. My dog rolls in poo. I am not kidding. There is nothing worse than taking your dog for a walk and watching him sniff about. Stop. Sniff some more. And then the dreaded drop. He falls to the floor. You run in slow motion towards him. "NOOOOO!" you scream. But it's too late. You're done for. You won't ever touch your dog again. It's time to take him home, force him under the shower and smother him in ketchup.
Apparently it's supposed to make him smell better but really, it's the other way round.
You're probably thinking, "Ugh, what a wannabe. Is this supposed to be funny?" No, it's not. I am completely, 100%, deadly serious. If you are suffering from similar problems, please tell me. I don't want to be on my own in this one. 
Please don't let me suffer alone.